His ideal type is suzy miller

Sunday 8th June 2014

... and the Empress has the last word!

1. Austria
First of all I have to apologize, because a faux pas happened to me on the night of the night: Of course it doesn't have to be "long live the queen", but "long live the empress"! Never before have I seen a contribution being carried through a competition in such a way - no, not even with Tom Dice or the Olsen Brothers. And from that moment it was also clear to me who would win the 2014 Chose. This voice! This charisma! These looks! And: This song with THIS TEXT! In addition, there were two absolutely perfect performances without any frills, if you disregard the stylized fire wings, a little wind machine, dry ice and the pillars of fire at the end. But honestly, that's practically nothing these days. There are not many ESCs who have produced such a clear and well-deserved winner, and probably also none in which the winner's surprise went so perfectly. All in all: What a great moment for this competition! And Conchi, now go out and conquer the world!

By the way, here is Eurovision 2014 in a nutshell, sorry that I'm doing this in English (and sorry to everyone who already knows it):

Every Eurovision Song Contest tells a story. A lot of stories. And this year is no exception.

In the two weeks before mother's day, people from all over Europe came to Copenhague (or, as Pilou, one of the three amazing hosts, would say: la mia città (my city)). They all wanted to take part in the ESC, they all were hunters of stars other maybe they would be the one who wins? Who knows?

They all did their best on stage, and every heartbeat what's going fast. Everyone asked himself or herself: Will I be the one? Will I start a fire? Or will there be something better? They were, of course, not alone and all wanted to grab our attention. And what songs there were! Some, of course, sang cliché love songs, no way to avoid this. Some wild souls brought one night's anger to the stage. And of course everyone thought: "Quero ser tua (I want to be yours) ". The running order was cleverly composed, after heavy or silent storms, so there was calm after the storm. The contestants all were really great, but on the eleventh position came a lady not only with a mustache but with a complete beard. Wow could she SING! What a SONG! What a PERFORMANCE! She did outshine everybody else, and for sure was going to do VERY well.

After everybody had performed, the voting came. Tick ​​tock went the clock, and after the time was up, nothing could be undone any more. And if the voter asked themselves: "is it right"- well, now it was too late for a change of mind!

Round and round it went on the scoreboard, but then the bearded lady did rise like a phoenix to the top. Even those who said of themselves "My slowianie (we are slavic) "gave her their votes. Many votes. And she was running to victory!

When the lady was coming home, people were waiting for her. They were celebrating and dancing in the rain. Some even had a cake to bake and brought some Cheesecake.

What a night! Europe showed the world that we are all children of the universe, that we have no prejudices and that we all beat from the same heart. The lady might know that it's just three minutes to earth, but for now she does rise up to the sky and does her very best to win moj svijet (my world)

It is nothing short to a miracle!








And if you want even shorter, please click here!

Merci to everyone for reading and commenting, I hope you enjoyed it and will now take a well-deserved vacation (and leave the field to the hosts * wink *), and when I come back, it's World Cup!

Saturday 7th June 2014

A few more notes in between ...

I have one or the other comment about this year that I don't want to withhold from you:

- the Fabian hearing test is alive and well. The fact remains: a song that failed my catchiness test has never won the ESC.

- The proportion of 4-chord songs was 8 out of 37 (Spain, Portugal, Italy, Germany, Denmark, Ireland, Sweden and Slovenia), medium high, but can go down a bit. There are other sequences that you can try out!

- The move has now really had its day. Even if an upright bunch of conservatives (hello dear princes!) Deduct points from every song if it has no setback (at least it seems that way!): Since 2002, exactly ONE song has won with setbacks, and it was so good that it was too would have won without moving. Finding out which one it was is left to the valued readership to practice :-)

- There are no countries that cannot make it to the finals! EVERYONE can win too, you just have to do everything right. Perseverance is everything!

- Serbia, Croatia and especially Bosnia-Herzegovina: You are sorely missed. Please come back!

- Andorra: As you can see, small states sometimes make it to the finals. Please come back. We miss your tailors!

- Is it really only I who think that Ms. de Forest has strange legs?

- In terms of language, 2014 was the most monotonous year ever. Only Italy, Spain, Portugal, Slovenia, Montenegro, France, Israel and Poland sang in whole or in part in the national language or at least not in English, which means that more than 75% of the contributions were in English. Phonetik-Else mourns. No phonetic version of a 2014 song, sorry. In any case, only four (!!!) were purely in the national language, namely Italy, France, Portugal and Montenegro, none of which are suitable for phonetic transmission. That may be different again next year, please! Linguistic diversity is one of the things that give Eurovision its appeal.

- For all friends of phonetic versions there is a little consolation here. Please have fun with it! And yes, I know myself that I don't have a ballad voice, but what should I do if no pig condescends to make another heavy heavy metal contribution in the local language? In the meantime you are already happy if you ever find something suitable to chop up!

- and at some point in this life I would like to have another really crunchy voting thriller with suspense until the end! Think 2003/1998/1993/1991/1988 ....

Frogs, children, emotions: WILD Eurovision No. 26



Click on the picture to enlarge it!

Photos: blog.prinz.de, estoday.com, eurovision.tv., Eurovision-austria.com, jurnalul.ro, Rialto Film
Labels: 2014, Alf Poier, Aram Mp3, Armenia, Conchita Wurst, Eurovision Song Contest, Austria, Ovi, Paula Seling, Romania, WILD

The final, place 3-2

3. Sweden
It seldom happens that I find a song from Sweden really good, but Undo grabbed me from the start. That was probably less because of the song than because of Sanna, who sold the whole thing really well. And nobody had a harder time than her in the semis; In the jury semi, one of their spotlights did not want to be like the others, so there was no nice light cone, in the semi itself a door was open on the left side of the stage, which for some reason could not be closed despite appropriate efforts that there was a black rectangular hole in the starry sky - if you look closely, you can see that the door was tried to close, but it didn't work. Sanna sang really impressively and actually had exactly the thirst for victory in view that you need to be at the top in the end. Nevertheless, the very last bit was still missing. The fact that it didn't make it to first place was probably less because of her and more because of her competitors and of course because of the, let's say, very conservative song. But bronze is great too, and you don't have to go to Sweden every year.

2. Netherlands
I confess that I still don't quite understand the good ranking of the Dutch. My feet fall asleep with the song. But now and here I accept that I probably have this opinion rather exclusively, and I can live with the result very well, after all, these Nesserlänz are not only my favorite Eurovision country in general, but also far too often have been hopelessly beaten below value . I am also pleased that there is a nice chart success on top of that. But the best thing is: if you look at what they did! How they happened! There are two admittedly very pretty people in strange clothes (Ilse's dress !!!) standing around with guitars and singing to each other. We completely ignore cameras, if one happens to come by, we'll take a look, but otherwise we sing to each other, that depends. A completely reduced appearance, plus they have a song from a genre in their luggage that has never before been able to make a stab at the ESC. In a word: Whistled on all Eurovision laws once! However, they did it so well that Europe gave them points on all sides. Well, what do you do when you get the best result in your country in 39 years? N / A? You split up. Sad but true: Waylon has left the project and wants to devote himself to solo projects in the future. It's a shame, you could have built on that!

Friday June 6, 2014

The final, place 5-4

5. Hungary
Frankly, I was a bit surprised about the result of the first semis. After THAT performance I could have sworn stone and leg that András would win, because the performance was absolutely PERFECT in every way. Still, 19 points behind the linnets, 4 behind Sanna - what was going on? In the final, the whole thing was slightly weaker, but in a just world it should still have come in at least second place. Well, this extremely risky and dark topic is certainly not for everyone, but let's be honest, life is not a pony farm, and always optionally "I love you, baby, I'm just born so that I can spend the night with you can "or" we are over, finally get out of here "or" baby, now you're gone, please come back in my crib my arms, otherwise I cry "is possibly a little bit too. There were enough critical voices who were of the opinion that" something like this "should not be on stage. Why not? Life is not just peace, joy, pancakes, and in Eurovision we also had songs that dealt with difficult topics, just a lot less successfully, I only recall the Russian and Finnish contributions in 2005. The topic was brought about by the way the Hungarians brought it up have brought the stage, not trivialized, on the contrary. The unity of song, song and especially the two dancers was oppressive on the one hand and thrilling on the other. Highly deserved 5th place, and a higher ranking I would have found even better here.

Oh yes: You are welcome to use the text suggestions above. The Swiss are looking for Eurovision songs from September. God bless it.

4. Armenia
Oh well, someone was nervous. I still think the song is great, but what Aram MP3 showed in the semi and in the final was absolutely not worthy of a top favorite. Then there was his, in my opinion, unsympathetic charisma - and who made up the dark circles under his eyes? The singing didn't appeal to me either, at the beginning it was a bit shaky, and then, when the turbo is ignited, unfortunately he lacks the vocal power. Even in the finale, not all of the tones sat in the quieter part. It's a shame about the song and the staging, because that was both great. It could have been really great with another singer. With 4th place, the whole thing is extremely flattering compared to some of the other services that were provided that evening. Well, you can't break a great song. But it was clear to me anyway that he wouldn't win, otherwise he would have done differently for me in the catchiness test!

Wednesday 4th June 2014

The final place 8-6

8. Norway
This contribution divides the congregation strictly in two halves: some are moved to tears, others are completely cold. Personally, I belong to the first group, with the first notes I get a fine foil stitch right into my heart. And when this man's bear begins to lay bare his inner life with a brittle voice, my eyes are watery and my heart flows in rivers. From the second verse on, he unpacks the turbo and has also brought a violin ballet with him that one or the other perceived as over the top - here you go, others have hamster wheels, seesaws, roller art skating, trampolines or trapeze gymnastics! Of course you can do it differently, the song is strong enough in any case. But precisely because of the stark contrast between Carl's appearance and the fragile and not necessarily perfect voice with which he sang at the beginning, it gave the whole thing an emotional depth that touched me more than any of the other songs in 2014. That was over Montenegro's rather sub-optimal performance on Saturday was my final favorite and I would have loved to see it win.

7. Russia
So, dear Tolmachevy sisters, now I want to know one of you: Was it really YOUR hair, or was it extensions? If that was your hair, respect. I wouldn't have dared to do that. But the performance also raised other questions: Why didn't the seesaw swing back as soon as one of you left it, but rather slowly lower the other side? How did you do that? Normal seesaws behave differently. Those are the things that went through my head when I was performing. You weren't particularly distracted by the song or the singing, if you disregard this "yodeling spot" after the move, which went badly wrong in both the semi and the finale. It wasn't anything special; Deserved entry into the final, undeserved 7th place, that would have belonged somewhere in the middle of the field at best.
PS: For everyone who booed in the hall and in front of the screen, please have a look here, listen to the text and internalize it. Nuff said.

6. Ukraine
In contrast to the 7th place for the Russians, the 6th place for the Ukraine is well deserved. Mariya looked SUPER, certainly one of the most beautiful women in the competition, and the slit dress once again proved that eroticism has a lot to do with skillful veiling (read along, Polish women?). In addition, Mariya sang much better in both the semi and the finals than I would have ever thought of her. The mystical beginning, before the beat starts, was implemented really well, only the dozing hamster wheel was disturbing. Nobody really needed that and I am firmly convinced that she would have made two great performances even without the hamster wheel (which was supposed to be a gym wheel, but was in fact a hamster wheel). I still don't like the song very much, and the choir was too loud for me in places, but nonetheless a result that is completely okay.

Monday 2nd June 2014

The final, place 11-9

11. Finland
Hm. Hm hm hm. Somehow I can't think of anything crisp about the post. In the best Coldplay tradition, the cross between the Lovebugs (sound) and Anonymous (the youth!) Tried its hand here. The performance was ok so far, nothing special, the only remarkable thing was the spectacular light show in the chorus - and of course the fact that we're talking about FINLAND here. I, forever yesterday, still wish the cycling group back and consider the schoolboys to be decidedly too high. And, dear Finns, if that doesn't work out with the Radaufraktion, I have a request for you. Just one. Do Frau Fabian a favor and send the most handsome guy who has ever stood on a Eurovision stage. And if you don't know who it is, have a look at your home contest again! It wouldn't be the first moderator to sing again afterwards!

10. Spain
Ruth! Child, nah, sachma, on stage with wet hair, don't you catch a cold? And it was cheated too. The rest of Ruth was dry, especially her dress and makeup. Everything was there where it should be. Well, when I'm in the rain, I look different. Ruth proved that she has two perfectly functioning lungs and this time even dosed herself appropriately, it wasn't quite as screamed as in the VE. In stark contrast to the sung element, she then also sent glowing glances into the camera. The concept "beauty roars its soul out of its body" has once again worked perfectly, and she has a powerful voice, you have to give her that. Still, 10th place is quite flattering. The rain was projected everywhere, but she didn't dance!

9. Denmark
Incomprehensibly, Basim also opted for an open binder, nobody knows why, nobody wants to know why. Otherwise it was three minutes of hardcore fun, if you can manage to take it as negligently as it was obviously meant to be.About everything about this post was wonderfully hammered: the song (of course!), Its lyrics, the fumbling around the backings, the invitation to the audience to join in (the first time that it was not punished). Everything is of course not of high quality, but funny - and the Basim is, as Frau Permanente would now say, a Thüther. She would be right. And Thüthe did it extremely well and beamed what his face showed into the camera. I still can't understand what motivated the German jury to collectively put this entry in first place, but so be it.

The final, place 14-12

14. Poland
Mr. Sixtus said that I should just write good things about this post, please. I try. But I don't promise anything.
We see on stage: a screamer in traditional costume mini with side pigtails and boots, three turning traditional skirts in different colors, after all, the tops that go with them were unexpectedly high necked, and two Ladies Women at work. Both have cleavages, as you know from the preview video, which means that they are not stingy with their charms. One is pounding butter with provocative slowness (or what should that be?), The other washes a piece of laundry by hand in the washing tub in the same manner - pure coincidence that it didn't work in either the semi or the final to get the top really wet. And she tried. At the pace at which the two of them stamp the butter or scrub laundry, I personally think of completely different things that one shouldn't even talk about in public ... The number speaks to pretty much all of the straight man's lower instincts, but I find it out as horrible as before. In the final, it would have ended up in the top ten with pure televoting, but was punished by the juries across the board. Nevertheless, the Poles achieved their best result since 1997 2003 (oh what a stark contrast to the ingenious "Ale Jestem" - Edit: The devil of the mistake struck. In 2003, the also ingenious Ich Troje got a 7th place. Merci to Patrick for the hint!). One wonders why, but good - everyone should do what they want. And the song is nothing either. But with a single chord, Stojan and Elitza also came in 5th at the time ...
Forgive me, Sixtus, I failed miserably.

13. Switzerland
Writing something nice about Sebalter, on the other hand, is extremely easy for me. After it started with a bang, he had the hall on his side, and after he was, in my opinion, THE male eye candy this year (with a beard on top of that!) And generously sprayed his charm, he naturally had an easy time in the semi . And the decision to whistle the intro and not let another instrument take it over was spot on! That was a total of six minutes of entertainment of the very best kind, and I think it was very good that the text, which Sebalter himself had violated, was only marginally understood, because (and that's the only thing I really criticize about this post) it was so fitting NOT AT ALL about the performance ... after hearing the line "I am the hunter, you are the prey, tonight I'm gonna eat you up", I had to look up the text. Sebalter, you really didn't seem like a hunter hunting prey, but like a nice guy who spends three minutes on stage with his friends. On the other hand, the use of the fire shower (and the camera !!) for the line "I press my nose to the glass, it's raining outside, it's raining outside" is great. You have to go back a long, long time before you find a Swiss who has a better placement, and you won't find it until 1991 (!). Yes, I know Annie Cotton and Vanilla Ninja, but neither of them were Swiss! All in all, two great performances that, in our unanimous opinion, should have done even better!

12. Romania
I said in advance that Romania would win again sometime soon, but that it won't be this year. I was probably right, but somehow I'm not surprised either, because there was too much light-and-shadow mixture on this post to really score. On the plus side, we have two very attractive and definitely highly talented singers - Paula is undoubtedly the best of the year in this discipline, and she also got the record for the longest note in Eurovision history - and a super strong choir that together for one round, full sound. But that's not enough, dear Romanians (and you should know that too): The gimmick with the Paula projection was just as dispensable as the strange round keyboard (where did you get that from? I urgently need a new toilet seat, I want that too !). The song stays bad, and unfortunately Paula and Ovi didn't make a convincing couple this time either. Nothing crackled between the two. In 2010 they showed that they can do better. Paula, Ovi, please come back again, but then with an absolutely bang-out song - then you'll get the box too!

Friday May 30, 2014

Final, place 17-15

17. Great Britain
Oh god, Molly, dear, what kind of horrible clothes was that? It was even worse than the weird sweater from the presentation video. And then the chain around your head - what did you mean by it? You probably took that with the "Children of the Universe" a bit too literally, because it looked like a space warrior on the cover of a bad science fiction novel. It's hard to believe that it didn't make it into the top ten at the Barbara Dex Award, it successfully distracted me from the song and other performance, not that there was a lot to look out for. You weren't a winner for me right from the start, and I guess I was right about that. Ha. And. I. Can. Henna. Tattoos. On. The. Death. Not. Stand!

16. Belarus
Well, dear ones, you can turn your head on your head: Belarus is quite rightly placed in the final, and Ms. Fabian told you that from the start. I once looked at the betting odds for the finals, unfortunately I don't give that much, otherwise I could finally turn my knowledge into money. Anyway, the song is chilled out, but nothing special, you don't understand much of the lyrics, as usual, which is good in this case. The throttle is now silent, but Google finds the text that way. Teo looked very nice (but what should the open fly do?) And did a good job. Vocally safe, choir ok, charisma ok too, and the footwork? Eat your heart out, Kurti Calleja! And the kiss and the kick at the end came out really well. The result is of course flattering anyway, but the ex-Soviet states all helped a little ... what the heck ...

15. Iceland
Well, we were all wrong :-) Like many others, I had foreseen a kind of "Leto-Svet" result for Iceland, especially since the two songs have a lot in common and the brightly colored suits have a bit remember the Estonians of 2008. You have to give Pollaponk credit for the fact that "No Prejudice" naturally has a lot more substance and, above all, was performed extremely competently! The red microphone in the semifinals didn't bother me either, it was rather funny. In our round on the evening of the final they were one of the favorites (not for me, but for the rest of the time), and the lead singer's crooked bow tie didn't change that. Or was it where it was foreseeable that this should be THE topic of this ESC, but the beards? The 15th place is still surprisingly good - and thus Iceland is still the one of the five northern countries that did the worst (!!!).

Tuesday May 27, 2014

The final, places 20-18

20. Greece
Come on and reis ab, reis ab, reis ab ... has the German viewer possibly understood (you notice what? The phonetic Else in me has just woken up and is starting to stretch - not that she has much opportunity this year but more on that later). Finally, finally, the Greeks have been properly punished for insubstantiality. About time too! The song is good for the legs, but otherwise it doesn't produce too much. And the guys are all very pleasing on my eyes and the idea with the trampoline was also quite nice, but then the performance has to be perfect! He didn't do that here either in the semi or in the final. In and of itself you can't go wrong with a song like this, but the vocals were so weak that all the bells and whistles around it couldn't help. The Greeks could have looked at themselves how to do it. "Watch my dance" was PERFEKT brought to the stage three years ago. Come on and leave. Exactly.

19. Montenegro
At Eurovision I don't hate anything anymore when I fall in love with a song and it is then sunk on stage. The roller skater bothered me less than I feared, at least in the semi, but I still didn't need her. The song remains my favorite this year, and Sergei has a wonderful voice. But maybe one should have asked a certain Zeljko J. beforehand how to put something like that on stage. The starting position after the Dutch who all surprised in the semi and that in the final to Armenia was certainly at least no advantage. While the semi-performance was still very successful, he unfortunately completely sunk it in the final. There was nothing more to be heard of the clear, confident vocals that it takes to get such a number on stage well. Still, a shame. I would of course have liked to see that above.

18. Germany
After Elaiza took 18th place, what happened in such cases happened: On the relevant pages, those who never appear anywhere else appeared again and taught the NDR how shitty it all is, what it does all wrong and that they always knew that. BULLSHIT! Let's be honest: To send three such inexperienced girls with THIS start number in THIS field (possibly the strongest final of all time!) And then come out in 18th place BEFORE Greece, Azerbaijan, Malta and Italy, that is really worth all honors. Elaiza hardly did anything wrong during their performance - Ela's voice was a little off the track at the end of the bridge, and she would have better left the tutu at home, but otherwise it was a great performance that the three women certainly did not give us have embarrassed! And with so many great contributions, not all of them can finish first. Germany voted for Elaiza, and that was a good thing. I doubt any of the others (yes, Unholy too!) Would have made any further progress. And the three girls had a lot of fun on stage and had the time of their lives in Copenhagen - what more could you want? I wish the three and myself that we will hear a lot from them in the future! All the best to you girls!

The final, places 23-21

Ui know, was my last posting a week ago? So much for the topic "I'll do everything right after the ESC" ... But so that it doesn't get later (write faster! Further distraction from the World Cup threatens!), I'll continue:

23. Malta
Every year there are songs that are traded as contenders for victory, although nobody knows why. It was the same with the Maltese this year. We could all have been warned in the case of Malta. In the forum that I usually frequent, we did a little simulation. In the semi, Malta was the only country to get points from ALL of those who voted, and in the final? We let the Maltese starve to death with a single dot in last place. It didn't turn out that bad in reality, but it was clear that Malta would not cross the finish line as the top favorite in this semi. Didn't do it then either. The gradient in Semi 2 was probably so strong that the Maltese had to get through in any case, the whole thing was probably too harmless and harmless for that. The two gigs were perfectly fine, but the song still doesn't give me anything. Maybe I would have liked it better if the lady hadn't sung along. But at least: You got a great set and did not stress the war returnees too much. Still, I love "Coming Home" - but not this one!

22. Azerbaijan
Yeah, guys, look carefully. In front of "Azerbaijan" there is really a 22 and no 2. After positions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 8 since their debut, the crash occurred this year. Why? Beautiful woman, beautiful voice, beautiful stage design, beautiful song, actually everything was done right. But that's not entirely true. The lady on the trapeze could have been left at home, for example, and why Dilara was still singing this lady so fervently the whole time I don't want to understand, after all, the trapeze woman (trapeze woman? Trappist?) Didn't start a fire. Since I come to the next point of complaint; if you always talk about wanting to start a fire and then have NO pyros (and from a land of fire too), that doesn't convince me! And in the semi, I began to be seriously worried about Dilara; but she just got through in ninth place. In the final, where firstly the field was much stronger and secondly where Dilara sang much more carelessly, the fun was over.
Still, and I'm really glad that the Azerbaijani press was halfway gracious to her. Dilara really didn't deserve a large-scale press hit storm, it wasn't her fault that the post crashed so badly.

21. Italy
Oh my goodness. I actually associate Italian women with attributes like "chic", "style", "elegant" and the like. And then the unthinkable happens: Italy comes second in the Barbara Dex Award. SECOND! You have to let that melt in your mouth. Worse still: Despite the toughest competition, this second place was absolutely deserved! Yeah, you copied that with the golden laurel wreaths from the 2004 Olympics in Athens, but firstly it looked very strange, at least with the guys, and secondly, you don't do that if you haven't won yet. And then this DRESS! Emma, ​​someone probably didn't like you. Was that Gaultier again? Anyway, it wasn’t elegant or stylish or chic, but totally over the top and just vulgar below. In addition, in some places one wondered anxiously what would come to light if the Danish cameras filmed the mini sliding up and down from below ... and then Ms. Marrone cleans the floor, and then it was all over.
Oh yes, just for the record: The song is still totally awesome, vocally it was also quite ok, but not outstanding. But what use is that if Europe is ashamed of itself for three minutes just for looks?

Monday 19th May 2014

The final - place 26-24

Show must go on, so let's take a look at what else was going on in the final. For the sake of niceness, we do this backwards:

26. France
Well guys. Just next to it is also over. You were already close with your mustache inscription, but the number 1 topic since that evening has been full beards. Apart from that, the two points were well deserved, and one shouldn't have complained about Nil Poaaah this year either. The stage is colorful and carcinogenic with flying mustaches. The cameras had no chance to show this contribution in a reasonably appropriate manner. In addition, there was a stage show that could be called strange at least once, a cumbersome song (although there should have been a few more punctuals just for the expression "Salle de musculation"), have I forgotten something? Oh yes. Yes. The outfits. The look was ... well ... well, it was bad. Really bad. Short pants, white socks, hair disasters everywhere you look. At the Barbara Dex Award they only ended up in 6th place, but the competition was also quite tough this year. Before we put the stuff on again, we'd rather go naked, they thought afterwards, and after the Eurovision Song Contest they showed up in a French TV show (watch again at your own risk!)

25. Slovenia
Opinions differ on Tinkara's robe. While the men dismiss this as totally exaggerated fumbling, women like me get glassy eyes and secretly or less secretly wish to appear as a princess once in their life ... and then also in royal blue! WEAK! Tinkara's entry into the final was a little surprise for me because I think the song is nice, but still not particularly strong. Her no-frills performance and, let's be honest, the cheap start number in the semi should have helped her a lot. In the final she had the most successful start number ever with the legendary 17, but as we now know, the start number oracle is completely for the chickens, especially if there are still a bunch of favorites after you. Still, it's a shame, because of the good performance she would have deserved more than the penultimate place. By the way, why wasn't one of the choir singers brushed back at least the shaved area?

24. San Marino

San Marino! In the final! You have to let that melt in your mouth! I still haven't quite wrapped it up.But if it weren't for the only extraordinary result this year, San Marino could easily reach the final. And this year almost everything was done right: Valentina was staged very effectively on the giant stage like the foam-born Venus von Botticelli, vocally it was impeccable, and by the gentleman at the piano (what is the point of pulling up the right hand at the beginning "Does that do anything? It has never worked for me so far) luckily, you didn't see very much. Only the strange manual work bothered me a bit, especially the lowering of the arms immediately before the chanting reminded me of the choreography that Ralle had put on stage at the time for "Peace for Teddy Bears". Hopefully you all successfully pushed that out. And of course the song, which is still very mediocre. Contrary to the prevailing opinion, I think "Crisalide" is much better.
Incidentally, I found it bad to look at how Ralle dragged the valley through the hall at the end of the fast-forward section in the headlock. Valentina, you don't necessarily have to go through everything! But after you've already said that you might come back next year: How about a jazz song?

Thursday May 15, 2014

The final, 1st place - Conchita, tolerance, homophobia and the beard

(Note from the writer of these lines: Actually, this post should come last in the review. But since the topic is so hot under my nails at the moment, I preferred it. I ask for your understanding)

With the mixture of straight men, gay men and straight women (and one straight man and one gay man each as silent note-takers), we may have a certain exceptional position among the Eurovision fan pages, which are naturally created by gay men in the vast majority of cases. As is well known, the bear is raging on these pages and everywhere else at the moment, and everyone wants to hang Conchita's victory even higher, collect even more for himself and understand it as an even greater sign of European tolerance than the prescriber. On the other hand, the prince blog, which I otherwise greatly appreciate, went so far as to ask itself whether Conchita's victory was not only due to the queer community. Everyone gives their opinion on this victory, and each opinion is a little different. Therefore, as a heterosexual woman who is not in the middle of it, but rather has an observation position, allows me to contribute my 2 cents to the debate, although the topic is so complex that you can actually write a book about it right now. And I can only present a small part of my thoughts here.

I don't believe in tolerance myself. You're shocked now, aren't you? But I stand by it. Before you stone me now, read on first. It might get a little provocative now, but you'll have to go through it.

For me, tolerance, as it is currently celebrated by many, is a lazy compromise. Tolerance, as I usually read it, is something many people carry around like a tray. "I am incredibly tolerant of homosexuals" means translated: "Look, what a do-gooder I am. Am I not great? I am so tolerant!" We saw it in January when Thomas Hitzlsperger came out, and it is happening again at the moment. "I also know gays myself" and show how incredibly tolerant I am. Boah EY! Tolerance is all well and good, but not as a celebrated navel gaze. And how I REALLY want the world to go on goes a long way.

If we are already talking about the subject, then I would like to have the next level, and it's called ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance that the world is more colorful than some would like to admit. That everyone has the right to free self-development, be it sexual or otherwise. And that I don't fucking care as long as I don't want to sleep with them. And: that I don't have to bear this acceptance in front of me any more than I have to bear in front of myself, that I accept the fact that there are people who have a different color of hair or eyes than me. That for me it is simply a matter of course that there are people who are not exactly like me in every single point and who enrich the world precisely because of this. So natural that I don't have to talk about it.

In the next step, acceptance also means for me, by the way, that I can treat the woman with the beard like anyone else without having to think about whether or not points make me a better person for Ms. Wurst. As a rule, I don't think men are beautiful in women's clothes. So what? I don't find men with thick gold chains beautiful either. Or women whose minis are so short and so tight that you can look at their pubic hairstyle. Or henna tattoos. And that's why I'm free not to call someone who doesn't convince me visually or in any other way. Ultimately, however, I treat them as I would treat anyone else. That doesn't make me a homophobic asshole by any means!

Why did I call for Conchita anyway? Because I was completely overwhelmed by their performances in both the final and the semi. Because it looked beautiful and the beard didn't bother or look strange, but instead added an extra accent. Because it outshone everything else. I have read the word "dignity" in connection with your performance in many places, and I think it applies very well. Because she sang great. And because I was of the opinion that the crown of the evening belonged to her, no one else. And it's great that the rest of Europe saw it as I did. That there is a gay man disguised as a woman who embodies everything that homophobic people find stupid, and that it makes me a better person when I call for it, because it shows the homophobes the finger, was for me that little candy on top, but not decisive for my call.

Unfortunately, we are still a long way from being able to speak of tolerance or even acceptance. The debate about tolerant Europe is certainly going in the right direction, but at the moment it is being led with a hysteria and navel gazing at my own stomach that scares me. On the one hand: self-congratulation. On the other hand, gladly also at the regulars' table (and unfortunately probably also in the wider environment of every Eurovision fan: "Igittibäh! Man with a beard in women's clothes. Ir-der-lich!" The appearance, the victory, the whole figure of Conchita Wurst is on the one hand at the moment Everybody and everything instrumentalized to the point of failure - what our and probably other media are pulling off there is very questionable. Yes, okay, so that you can point your finger at someone, they report that some crazy Russian guys are now , please buckle up, shave your beard as a sign of your masculinity, and "Mr." Zhirinovsky (didn't even know that he still existed!) discharges the same rubbish as usually. But: Has anyone actually noticed that Conchita from Russia 5 She was in third place in the televoting! Everything only from the queer community? I can hardly imagine. On the other hand, I am shocked by the general hatred of Conchita au s is poured. Go to Sido’s Facebook page and read the comments on the post where he defends his jury vote, you’ll feel sick. And as long as such voices are still heard, we are still a long way from reaching our goal. And here again Conchita's message is clear: It's WURST how you look, who you are and who you love. It is good that you are who you are.

Another point that is very close to my heart, namely the question: "How should we explain THAT to our children?": From my own experience I know that children see the world with much more open eyes and hearts than many Adults want to admit and would like to have. My two seven-year-old daughters took note of the woman with a beard with a shrug of shoulders after I explained to them that this is actually a man who disguised himself as a woman. That was the end of the subject for her. This purely rational explanation was quite sufficient for them; They did not evaluate or even condemn Conchita. The condemnation comes ONLY from the adults. That's why I find the question "How should I explain this to my children" rather strange. How children should see the world later on is, to a certain extent, up to us as parents. If we raise our children to be tolerant or better: accepting people, in all likelihood they will be later too!

Conchita Wurst's victory in the Eurovision Song Contest is certainly an encouraging sign for all those who need tolerance or, better still, acceptance. But above all, it is the victory of a great artist who managed to outshine all the rest of the evenings when it was important. And I wish this artist the very best for the future - get the Grammy, Conchi! And because at the moment such a great, great burden is being placed on your narrow shoulders, I wish that you will not be crushed by it and that you will not lose yourself on the path that is right in front of you. And I wish Thomas Neuwirth that his world does not come under the wheels of the world of Conchita Wurst.

In any case, I'm really happy for Austria! You will definitely host a great contest next year. I'll come and see it on site when it says: WELCOME, WELCOME TO AUSTRIA!

The dropouts of the second semis

Israel
There seems to be an all-valid cosmic ESC law that every year someone crops up where no one expects it. This year there were even two; In the first semi, Belgium was always traded quite high and in the second Israel. While the departure of Belgium was received with noticeable relief in wide ESC fan circles, Israel's departure caused collective dismay. Even with me. Mei was so great at it. Her voice fits perfectly to the snotty song, which of course exactly meets my taste and rocked the hall! Possibly she and her backings all in all came across as too Amazon-like, plus the very short skirt. Not for everyone. The facial expressions didn't always match either. But heaven, others had completely different problems! Otherwise I can really only explain it to myself by the unfavorable start number, and when 11 countries are scrambling to get ahead, one of them just loses out. It's a shame that was Israel.

Georgia
With some contributions it is like with really good wine (now say, that's a great reference to the Georgian postcard, right?): You have to enjoy them several times to really appreciate them. This is how I feel about the Georgian contribution. At the beginning you need a while to get involved in this musical tour de force, after all the contribution has about as many chords as all the other contributions put together. But the more you hear it, the better it gets. Funnily enough, as soon as Mariko starts singing, they have a 4-chord sequence in it - probably a concession to the European standard taste ;-). The appearance in the semi was very good, and the really crazy (or should I write better: spaced) stage show fit perfectly with the song and theme. Unfortunately, it was clear from the start that it was too intense for Europe.
Sido, who screwed up enough shit in connection with the Eurovision Song Contest 2014, put Georgia in first place in the semifinals and at least didn't miss it completely. So I'm inclined to subtract 12 of the 10,000,000 points of antipathy he has collected from me for about a week and distribute them to the rest of Europe, which has this great piece of music in last place in this semi to let. Please all listen to this again, get inside and repent!

Lithuania
What can I say? Terrible song, terrible outfits (victory at the Barbara Dex Award is likely to be certain), more than a strange stage show - for example, Vilija and her dancer danced at the beginning. Strange, very strange movements of the dancers. And then suddenly a hand looks out of a hole in the tutu - attack of the killer hands ... But everything was thought of with the outfit. Vilija then gave the camera a wink and a kiss, and I waited all the time for a 100-tonne weight to fall on me from above and free me from my suffering.
Three minutes can be really, really long. By the way, if someone has not yet rated the Barbara Dex Award and would like to do so, please click here. Until Sunday, May 19 can still be rated.

Ireland
And another candidate who will collect points at the Barbara Dex Award. Everything about this post was mediocre: singing mediocre, song mediocre, clothes mediocre except for the horrible collar, resemblance to one of Krassimir Avramov's choristers more than mediocre. But the set was very nice, and the dance steps should probably be reminiscent of Riverdance - was that 20 years ago? In a nutshell, some posts are so weak that it is clear that no matter what happens during the three minutes, they will definitely be thrown out. And what happened here was just (did I already say?) Mediocre.

Macedonia
The Macedonian contribution, on the other hand, owes its departure to the optics, because the song is not that bad either. But Tijana, an approximately 3-meter-tall natural transe, who borrowed the make-up artist from Laura Voutilainen and only differed from the lady mentioned by the strange side spoiler, should have frightened many viewers at first glance to such an extent that nobody listened to the song more. After the first half of the song went off pretty well, in the second half everything that was on the stage came together for ballet and danced in lockstep ... And then nothing worked. I still don't know how to get a guy like Tijana on stage in the best possible way. We saw one of the worse options here. Well, Maze. Since the introduction of the second semis, you've somehow got the worm ...
Labels: Can-linn feat. Kasey Smith, eurovision song contest 2014, Georgia, Ireland, Israel, Lithuania, Mariko Ebralidze & The Shin, Macedonia, Mei Feingold, Tijana Dapcevic, Vilija Mataciunaite

Wednesday May 14, 2014

The dropouts of the first semis

Latvia
I'll stick with it, it's a wonderful song that immediately puts a smile on my face. And since I especially like the story behind it, this song can't help but warm my heart. Jöran is certainly not a great singer - vocally it was unfortunately nothing, but they weren't alone! - but a rampage in front of the gentleman who was able to wonderfully bring the joy he had in the whole event onto the stage. It was just fun to watch. Nevertheless, this "campfire song" didn't have the slightest chance on this stage, even if with pure televoting it would have been just enough for the finale. But I think that at least all in all it remained a very positive impression, and I wish the great, sympathetic troupe that they enjoyed their time in Copenhagen as it seemed regardless of their results.
I would like to shoot the person responsible for Katrina's outfit on the moon with the next rocket - without a return ticket. There is a subtle difference between charmingly amateurish and "Child, how do you look? You can't wear that!" That was, with all due respect, applied a bit thick - in the truest sense of the word. The clothes didn't exactly make you thin, and you shouldn't wear high heels either.
Nevertheless, it is a great shame that it was not enough, I would have allowed them to make it to the finals!
(and distribute a firm handle again!)

Estonia
Hm. Hm hm hm. I have been a little too careless in my lightning gleanings. I just watched the performance again on the tube, and Tanja cheated quite a bit while singing. You can hear it (pay attention to the first verse), and you can see it from the movements of her lips. The passages that she actually sang herself were very good. But the question remains: Why did this high-performance punching shop have to be? "My name is Tanja and I am now dancing the Estonian preliminary decision"? Wouldn't it have been possible to bring the contribution to the stage with a little less strenuous choreography? The dancing didn't help, I even thought I was in the Eurovision Dance Contest (does it still exist? Doesn't matter). In addition, Tanja and her dancer thought during the entire performance, "Honey, this stage is not small enough for both of us." And then always the interspersed line of text "Do you hear me screaming?" ... tse tse tse. The sacking was quite a surprise for me, which cost me points in all the betting games I participated in, but I live with that very well.

Albania
The departure of Hersi did not cost me any points.My goodness, that is such a distinctive, pretty woman, and then they trim the FDP politician in the rehearsal week to twice her age, who has just been thrown out of the state parliament. Fortunately, on the semi-evening they still managed to get around the curve (who actually had the bullshit idea with the tattoo?), But their dress was on the one hand stuffy to the point and on the other hand transparent in the wrong places. There was also a song that I like more every time I listen to it, but which is again typically Albanian bulky. And then rock. The common ESC viewer does not appreciate rock, unless he comes dressed up in a funny way. Abandoned politician is also disguised, but not funny. So it couldn't be anything. Would the national language have helped? I do not think so.

Belgium
Had a recurring nightmare beforehand: The morning after the grand finale, my two little ladies come into the bedroom wobbling and singing: "En wans ögäääään masser, ju a reit säääääääääääääääär masser, ju ar mei geiding leit, mei schoulder, mei schelter, mei sätteleit , eim wiek jur broad .... "I would have given her up for adoption on a constant footing. Fortunately, however, the Belgian victory was not to be expected, Europe was more likely to be shaken than touched. While he was singing in the semi, I knew he was going to have a problem. Of course he has a gigantic voice, but a really horrific song. Who, please, was the target group? Mothers? Come on I'm a mother too, but not Axel's! And if the target group consists of only one person, you have a problem with televoting ... In addition, Axel was unable to deliver in the evenings. He was still singing well, but not perfectly. In order to lift such a scrap of song, you have to sing perfectly. As I said, I was very sorry for him, and I was miles away from being ashamed of others. After his performance I would have loved to hug him and comfort him - but I'm not his mother.
Sorry, fat man with a great voice, I don't want to withhold one thing from you: The guys from OnEurope gave Axel the meanest, but unfortunately also the funniest nickname I've ever read about a Eurovision participant: Mr. Creosote. Anyone who knows Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" probably already knows, let the rest google it. The corresponding scene is also available on the tube. But be careful: this is nasty, vicious and absolutely not for the faint-hearted. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Moldova
The elimination of Moldova also cost me a lot of points in my prediction games, but I could have guessed that almost no one else expected this post to progress. Usually the Moldovans have a knack for what can and cannot go on stage. But this time they really failed. Cristina Scarlat's song was probably the darkest in the competition and certainly not for everyone. Personally, I thought it was great and wrote in advance that it would have a chance if it was perfectly staged. And then that: Cristina, half damsel, half Valkyrie, lets four medieval slaves dance around her, and the Eurovision-savvy viewer is reminded of a certain other contribution with a knight's shirt, I mean one from Bulgaria ... but at least Cristina sang better. However, the acoustic impression remained difficult and the visual disconcerting. And when you thought it couldn't get any worse, she grabs her long blond mane and pulls out all the extensions at once. Choreography ideas of horror, no wonder that no one has ever done this before - and hopefully no one will do it again.

Portugal
Dearest Suzy, this Glenn Miller number is called "In the mood" and not "In the nude". If your clothes should give the impression of maximum eroticism, I can only tell you that it went very badly in the pants. That wasn't erotic. It wasn't even cheap. Or even vulgar. At least that would have been something and would have suited your song better. That was just naked sterility or sterile nudity, call it what you want. If you wait for the nipple gate with a stewardess in a not completely finished (?) Figure skater costume because nothing else happens, that doesn't really speak for the contribution. Suzy was much better than expected in the semi, which was also reflected in an unexpectedly good televoting result. The judges, on the other hand, recognized the song as the cheap junk it is, so that it was justifiably not enough for the final.
Labels: Aarzemnieki, Albania, Axel Hirsoux, Belgium, Cristina Scarlat, Estonia, eurovision song contest 2014, Hersi, Latvia, Moldova, Portugal, Suzy, Tanja

Tuesday May 13, 2014

Sausage poisoning, tulip trucks and sleeping problems: the new WILD Eurovision!



Click to enlarge!

Photos: Albin Olsson, anouk.com, diggiloo.net, epa, eurovision.de, wiwibloggs.com
Labels: 2014, Anouk, Azerbaijan, Ilse de Lange, Netherlands, Ralph Siegel, Russia, San Marino, The Common Linnets, Tomalchevy Twins, Valentina Monetta, Belarus, WILD