What's wrong with Mike Budenholzer's wife

Know-it-all / righteousness

A reader asked us for advice on how to deal with her husband, who always knew better.

The reader writes:
"I've been married for 15 years. My husband is a teacher at high school. My husband has always had the last word. But recently I've been getting more and more upset that my husband interferes everywhere, even if he has no idea of it. Why is he acting like that and how can I stop his know-it-all? "

Dr. Doris Wolf answers:
"The first thing that comes to mind is that your husband is a teacher. Part of the role of the teacher is to be eloquent and informed. If you admit weaknesses or ignorance, you run the risk of losing the students' respect. So it could be that your partner is having a hard time drawing a clear line between teaching at school and communicating at home, and may also be convinced that it is doing something good for you - for example, informing you properly.

Another motive for his know-it-all could be that he has low self-esteem and strengthens it by teaching you. In the best case scenario, he is completely unaware that he is playing the “head teacher” and know-it-all for you. In such a case, you should speak to him in a moment of calm and without witnesses about how much it bothers you if he always gives his sermon. If he is understanding and wants to change, you can then make out a sign that you give him when he automatically makes his comment again. You can also let him know that you will find it easier to appreciate his advice if he waits for you to ask him.

You can only stop your partner's know-it-all if he sees it and plays along. However, even if your partner doesn't change, you can cope better with it. For example, react B. with humor: “Thank you, Professor, how good that we talked about it. Your opinion is always very important to me. "Or change your attitude: Give him inner permission to make his comment. You can also reduce your anger by presenting his comment only as his opinion, but not as criticism or know-it-all and then give your opinion. "